Nothing Matters….”NO” “THING” Matters This is one of the really weird states that will likely emerge as you engage in your own De-conditioning process…it is those days when you realize, just total vastness of it all, and the inconceivable void of “Nothing”…..when you really see that “No” “Thing” matters.
Some people call it “Enlightenment” others “Depression”….regardless of mental interpretation it seems to be part of this process…it is a very real state the melancholy of No Thing…..The void of no thing can feel lonely, however it carries tremendous liberation as well…and if you’ve gotten far enough to experience this then turning back is no longer a likely option either…..So FURTHER!!!! Actually if the truth be known…I love getting these email reports…the only thing more fun than watching my own madness is watching you guys go through the same process!!!!!
ENJOY the REPORT:
We had an earthquake tonight….like a 5 pt. something…cool….there was a spider in her web and when it happened she danced around in this frantic little pattern. I spent these 2 days mostly all by myself and my ‘patterns’ have been all over the place. I went to beach yesterday…walked around San Clemente some….had some nice encounters with nice people, etc…..and felt, at least i thought was okay this morning…and proceeded to freak out shortly thereafter…mind attacks etc. It can be so hard to know what is ‘real’ and what is not. I’m just assuming it’s all fake, to be safe.
Ya know, I just feel so…like i don’t care about anything anymore. Nothing. Like I really am nothing. It’s not like I’m depressed….I don’t really get that anymore, not for years. And it’s not even like I’m ad hedonic or apathetic….it’s more like….nothing. Everything – every hope I used to have for myself, for my life….is just gone…like it doesn’t matter anymore…not an issue, ya know? I never intended to come here – to THIS PLACE….but it was just that….I couldn’t stay in the place I was before….so I had to go further….to the Next place. I am assuming, of course, that i wont feel like this for long, because my moods/emotions change at breakneck speeds – often 3/4 times in one day…..and of course -that is ALL my doing….I have fervently prayed every night to advance toward my truth swiftly…be careful what you ask for.
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